Note to the reader, these terms are taken from various incidents over the years, involving family in Missouri. Some terms are linked to incidents with only two participants, so not all terms will resonate with all family members. Heck, to tell the truth most of the following are Nick related....
Self-Centering Wad Knot: A rogue knot in a ski rope or other work rope, resulting from errors in tying a 'real' knot, or the result of a tangle etc.
Non-Bender: Originally denoting the condition of an overweight water-skier, tightly strapped into a life vest and unable to actually put on a ski, can be used to describe any rigid object.
Brisket Stupor: Near coma-like condition resulting from ingestion of large quantities of succulent beef.
Soporific Torpor: See "brisket stupor" above.
"The Ribs Are Coming": You had to be there.
Dig a Trench: Refers to historic sleep deprivation incident, near the end of which participants were assigned task of digging a shallow trench through the rocky ozark mountain soil. In subsequent re-tellings, tool(s) used to dig the trench have become increasingly inadequate. Currently we are down to "a rusty spoon with no handle".
The Van In The Valley Of The Shadow Of The Sunflower: Poetic turn of phrase blurted out during road trip for no good reason. Ummm... you had to be there.
Jungle Boots & Sweatpants: Proposed television series inspired by cutting edge wardrobe choice of Nick.
Cheetah Cow: Hypothetical animal discussed after remarkable field observation of ordinary cow running faster than any cow has ever run before.
"Drop It In Tha Mud": Warning cry about.....dropping stuff in the mud. (Since original incident, no mud is actually required to trigger the warning.)
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Light Pollution.....Just say no.
I have something to mention. It's called light pollution. When was the last time you were able to see the stars on a clear night in a truly dark location, with no haze of artificial light interfering? If you have never witnessed the amazing spectacle of stars in a truly dark sky, you are missing one of the most awesome sights on the planet. The reason many people have not been able to experience this is light pollution, from poorly designed artificial lighting.
Check out the International Dark Sky Association website www.darksky.org for a huge amount of information on this issue. Their site is rather cluttered, but if you have a little patience you will be enlightened. Those of us who want to alleviate this problem of light pollution are not advocating some wacky notion of outlawing outdoor lighting. Smart design is what we are pushing for. Better designed lighting actually works more efficiently, doing it's primary job better, while curbing wasteful spillage that causes the light pollution. Simple really. It's a win-win situation.
If you city-dwellers find yourself on vacation or traveling in an area far from city lights, try taking a few minutes some clear night, look up, and see what you're missing. You too may become a believer! Down with light pollution! Yes to better lighting design!
Check out the International Dark Sky Association website www.darksky.org for a huge amount of information on this issue. Their site is rather cluttered, but if you have a little patience you will be enlightened. Those of us who want to alleviate this problem of light pollution are not advocating some wacky notion of outlawing outdoor lighting. Smart design is what we are pushing for. Better designed lighting actually works more efficiently, doing it's primary job better, while curbing wasteful spillage that causes the light pollution. Simple really. It's a win-win situation.
If you city-dwellers find yourself on vacation or traveling in an area far from city lights, try taking a few minutes some clear night, look up, and see what you're missing. You too may become a believer! Down with light pollution! Yes to better lighting design!
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Rent-a-Car, Schment-a-Car
Recently my wife had the misfortune of having her car break down on the highway, while on her way to work. The catalytic converter (as we found out later) was plugged, and the car was inoperable. During the wait for the tow truck, we decided it would be best to rent her a car to use for the day. The dealership recommended Enterprise Rent-A-Car, which had an office right down the street from the dealership. My wife called Enterprise and told them she needed a car, and they said they would have one when she got there. We then followed the tow truck to the dealership, which went very smoothly, (thank you George & AAA). We were thinking, gee, this is all going pretty smoothly, and headed over to Enterprise.
Upon pulling into the chain-link enclosed, razor-wire topped, gravel parking area of the Enterprise 'Office', the mornings festivities began to morph into a quasi-Seinfeldian tragicomedy of absurdity. The building itself could have been plucked from a local farm, one of those pre-fabbed metal glorified sheds. There were suspiciously few vehicles around, save one small car that was obviously being given the old pre-flight walk-around by a customer and an Enterprise agent. "We'll let's see if there is anybody working inside". We went in and were somehow able to locate another employee inside the cavernous structure. (Sarcasm alert). After identifying ourselves, it soon became obvious that there was a problem. There were no cars. No cars to rent. None. It seems to me that this could be a drawback for a rental car company, but who am I to say? The well meaning employee then called the nearest Enterprise office, which was a couple of miles down the way, and inquired if they had any wheels available. Yes, we're told.
So, off we go to Enterprise II. After performing the navigational gymnastics required to actually get to the place (it's adjacent to a MAJOR highway renovation project in the middle of the city) we were pleased to see that Enterprise II was at least an actual building, complete with masonry walls and a paved parking lot. Things were looking up! (Although the parking lot was pretty...um....empty.) Upon entering, we found that we would be taken care of by a new employee who was in training. Oh joy! Fortunately the 'trainer' was right there. The good news was that they could actually rent us a working vehicle. The bad news is all they had was a minivan. The problem with this is that a minivan is much more expensive to rent than a small car. Argghhh!
At this point we were desperate enough to rent an F-16 if they had one available, because we both needed to get to work. Therefore my wife ended up renting a minivan for the day. Apparently this particular Enterprise is minivan central, because when we returned it later the place was overflowing with them.
Some cynics might think we were the victim of some elaborate bait-and-switch swindle, but having been there I can assure you it was what it was.....a dysfunctional car rental company with no cars to rent. If there were any justice, Enterprise would change it's name from Enterprise Rent-A-Car to something like "Enterprise- Rent-A-Car If You're Lucky & If You Give Us Plenty Of Notice & We Aren't Out Of Cars--Could We Interest You In A Van?"
Upon pulling into the chain-link enclosed, razor-wire topped, gravel parking area of the Enterprise 'Office', the mornings festivities began to morph into a quasi-Seinfeldian tragicomedy of absurdity. The building itself could have been plucked from a local farm, one of those pre-fabbed metal glorified sheds. There were suspiciously few vehicles around, save one small car that was obviously being given the old pre-flight walk-around by a customer and an Enterprise agent. "We'll let's see if there is anybody working inside". We went in and were somehow able to locate another employee inside the cavernous structure. (Sarcasm alert). After identifying ourselves, it soon became obvious that there was a problem. There were no cars. No cars to rent. None. It seems to me that this could be a drawback for a rental car company, but who am I to say? The well meaning employee then called the nearest Enterprise office, which was a couple of miles down the way, and inquired if they had any wheels available. Yes, we're told.
So, off we go to Enterprise II. After performing the navigational gymnastics required to actually get to the place (it's adjacent to a MAJOR highway renovation project in the middle of the city) we were pleased to see that Enterprise II was at least an actual building, complete with masonry walls and a paved parking lot. Things were looking up! (Although the parking lot was pretty...um....empty.) Upon entering, we found that we would be taken care of by a new employee who was in training. Oh joy! Fortunately the 'trainer' was right there. The good news was that they could actually rent us a working vehicle. The bad news is all they had was a minivan. The problem with this is that a minivan is much more expensive to rent than a small car. Argghhh!
At this point we were desperate enough to rent an F-16 if they had one available, because we both needed to get to work. Therefore my wife ended up renting a minivan for the day. Apparently this particular Enterprise is minivan central, because when we returned it later the place was overflowing with them.
Some cynics might think we were the victim of some elaborate bait-and-switch swindle, but having been there I can assure you it was what it was.....a dysfunctional car rental company with no cars to rent. If there were any justice, Enterprise would change it's name from Enterprise Rent-A-Car to something like "Enterprise- Rent-A-Car If You're Lucky & If You Give Us Plenty Of Notice & We Aren't Out Of Cars--Could We Interest You In A Van?"
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Bigfoot? Surely you jest.
No, I do not jest. Is it really possible that a population of extremely large bipedal primates, not officially recognized by science, exist in the wilderness areas of North America? 'That's absurd', you may be thinking. If all you know about this subject is an old episode of "In Search Of" from the 1970's, an occasional tongue-in-cheek magazine article, or a mocking little story on your TV news, I can see where you might be highly skeptical. After all, if such creatures existed, wouldn't people be seeing them, perhaps quite often? The answer is, people do see them, quite often.
The internet has made it possible to collect such reports, the foremost organization doing such collecting is the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, also known as the BFRO. www.bfro.net
All it takes is a few minutes scanning the large number of reports, and you begin to realize that all is not as you thought it was. The most surprising fact to me when I began looking into this is that reports come from forested/wilderness areas all across the U.S. This is not just a phenomenon of the Pacific Northwest. Most of the reports have that undeniable simple 'ring of truth' that can't be dismissed. Check out the Frequently Asked Question links on the bfro homepage for a quick look at the facts, read some reports, and make up your own mind.
What I find so frustrating about mainstream science is that it dismisses reports of ordinary people, who are observing extraordinary things. Yes, there is always going to be a lunatic fringe of people surrounding any subject, and bigfoot research is no exception. This is no reason to dismiss the entire subject. A little 'official' field research by academia would seem to be in order, in my humble opinion. Because such 'official' research is not likely, it falls to the amateurs to do the dirty work. Eventually, the bfro or somebody else is going to come in with some extraordinary video or photos. I suspect it will take an actual body, however, to really make the skeptical believe. Somebody will accidentally kill a bigfoot during a road crossing encounter (ala "Harry and the Hendersons") or a researcher will purposely shoot one in order to end the debate over their existence once and for all, and mainstream science will take a big 'ol black eye.
The internet has made it possible to collect such reports, the foremost organization doing such collecting is the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, also known as the BFRO. www.bfro.net
All it takes is a few minutes scanning the large number of reports, and you begin to realize that all is not as you thought it was. The most surprising fact to me when I began looking into this is that reports come from forested/wilderness areas all across the U.S. This is not just a phenomenon of the Pacific Northwest. Most of the reports have that undeniable simple 'ring of truth' that can't be dismissed. Check out the Frequently Asked Question links on the bfro homepage for a quick look at the facts, read some reports, and make up your own mind.
What I find so frustrating about mainstream science is that it dismisses reports of ordinary people, who are observing extraordinary things. Yes, there is always going to be a lunatic fringe of people surrounding any subject, and bigfoot research is no exception. This is no reason to dismiss the entire subject. A little 'official' field research by academia would seem to be in order, in my humble opinion. Because such 'official' research is not likely, it falls to the amateurs to do the dirty work. Eventually, the bfro or somebody else is going to come in with some extraordinary video or photos. I suspect it will take an actual body, however, to really make the skeptical believe. Somebody will accidentally kill a bigfoot during a road crossing encounter (ala "Harry and the Hendersons") or a researcher will purposely shoot one in order to end the debate over their existence once and for all, and mainstream science will take a big 'ol black eye.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Lucas
Lucas the dog is some sort of mutant Australian Shepherd mix. He is intensely protective of his human pack. I count myself fortunate to be a member of that pack, along with my wife and stepson. (Lucas' complex relationship with his stepbrother, Gizmo the cat, will have to be a topic for another time.)
Severe WX Photo Test
I was curious to see how photos would appear using this template. The photo at left was taken near sunset during a severe thunderstorm in Kingman County, Ks. which produced at least one tornado.
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